Under His Desk, Continued
From Legalism to Love
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By Karon Ruiz
In the late 1990s, I attended a women's conference that changed my life forever. That night, everything shifted as I felt the Father's love breaking through in an unexpected way. Fear, which had held me back for so long, dissolved, and for the first time, I approached Him without hesitation.
It all happened during worship. As hundreds of women lifted their hands, pouring out praise, I found myself in a moment of divine revelation. In that sacred space, He gave me a vision that broke through the lies keeping me bound. I felt lifted, unshackled, and truly free.
Worship had always been a source of comfort, but that night, it was more than a song—it was pure liberation.
While worshipping, a vivid and familiar image came to mind—one deeply woven into the American narrative.
President Kennedy sits thoughtfully at the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office. Beneath him, little John-John, just three years old, peeks out from the open space, blissfully unaware of the historical weight surrounding him.
I stopped singing, stunned. Whispering, I asked, "God, what are You showing me? Why this image? Why now, during worship?"
A glimpse.
Before my question could linger, the answer came—gentle, yet unmistakable:
"Karon… you can play under My desk anytime you want."
Honestly, those were His exact words.
President Kennedy often instructed the Secret Service to let his children into the Oval Office whenever they wished. If the most powerful man in the Western world granted his children such access, why wouldn’t God?
It’s when I’m lying in a troubled mess, stuck at the bottom of a deep, dark pit — it is there that God reveals Himself as He truly is: kind, loving, my kinsman. redeemer, my loving Father, the One who grabs a hold of me.
When we humble ourselves and seek rescue, He answers. This theme of brokenness and restoration is central to a novel I've written and published, titled, Grace In The Shadows. My favorite verse, Isaiah 42:3 is threaded throughout the manuscript. It's speaks of God's compassion for the broken.
Knowing that the Lord will not extinguish my smoldering wick or snap my bruised reed fills me with so much hope! Life can be tough, hitting us all with challenges that wound our spirits. Some endure less, but most carry injuries of one kind or another. These wounds can sometimes cloud our understanding of who God truly is. I hope it doesn’t take you as long as it took me to discover the true and loving Father beyond the veil. God is ready to offer us deep, lingering gazes early on, not just fleeting glimpses of His face.
I’m wrapping up this article with an excerpt link from the novel I completed in 2018. In much of the story, Dalton Baxter grapples with believing that God truly loves him. Writing this book helped me start the journey of unraveling the lies Satan had embedded in my life. I’ll admit, I still have a long way to go. I’ve edited some parts from the original to avoid giving away the plot. If you’d like, feel free to share your feedback through the online form. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Karon Ruiz